It’s inevitable. Maybe it’s already happened. You’re going to have a first date. For some it comes sooner. For some it comes later—even after high school. There’s a good chance your family has a “first date” age in mind for you. No matter when you go on your first date, one thing is certain when it happens: you are entering a new era of life, an era that you want to be emotionally and spiritually ready for.
1. Digging In (God, Show Me!)
As you might expect, the Bible doesn’t have a “dating” chapter. But it does have a lot to say about two issues that are a key part of dating: 1) How we treat others; 2) Physical attraction.
First, let’s look at the issue of how we treat others. As you read the passages below from Philippians 2 and Colossians 3 (you may want to print out these verses or paste them into an e-doc), look for these things (we’ll get to 1 Corinthians 6 in a moment):
1. Underline any instructions you see on how we are to treat others.
2. Circle any traits that we should possess in treating others.
Philippians 2:3-4
3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
Colossians 3:12
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
2. Taking It Inward (God, Teach Me!)
The passages from Philippians 2 and Colossians 3 contain world-class instructions on how to treat people and they give us a list of Christ-like traits that should describe us. Take a minute to apply these instructions and traits to the setting of a first date. For every instruction or trait, write out a statement of resolve. Here are a couple examples.
I will do nothing out of selfish ambition. Nothing.
I will show compassion and kindness by doing more listening than talking.
Now to the issue of physical attraction. Read the passage from 1 Corinthians 6 below. Again, you may want print out these verses. As you read, underline any references to sexuality. After you’ve read the passage, re-write theses instructions as if they were written to you personally. Especially since, well, they were written to you personally.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20
18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
3. Putting Into Practice (God, Change Me!)
Here is the most important question, which you may have already found yourself asking:
What do the Philippians 2 and Colossians 3 passages have to do with the verses in 1 Corinthians 6?
At first glance these passages may seem unrelated. But the truth is, they couldn’t be more connected. Spend a few minutes meditating on this connection. Ask God to show you how the instructions and traits of Philippians 2 and Colossians 3 are related to the teaching in 1 Corinthians 6. Journal your thoughts as you pray and meditate.
Here’s a thought: (but don’t read this until after you’ve journaled your thoughts)
When we treat other people, including our “date,” in a manner fitting of Philippians 2 and Colossians 3—keeping our selfish ambitions at bay, honoring his/her interests, interacting out of kindness and patience—we are in a strong position to want to keep our physical desires under control. Obeying Philippians 2 and Colossians 3 makes it easier to obey 1 Corinthians 6.
The final question: How will you put these verses into practice? Here are some ideas, but we know you can improve on these ideas:
1. Create an image (a bumper sticker phrase, sketch, picture) that represents the gist of these verses. Use this image for your phone’s wallpaper. Then you’ll be reminded of these instructions and traits every time you look at your phone.
2. Create a “Dating Code to Live By,” three or four bullet-point statements of resolve. Copy your statements on a card and keep it in your wallet or purse. Read it before a date.
3. Ask a group of friends to create a dating accountability group. Share the info from these passages (or share this devo) and hold each other accountable as you move into the dating era.