What Can We Learn from a Deconstructor's Story?

He was a nationally known worship leader. He held company with the top spiritual leaders of his era. Dishearteningly, he went through a serious deconstruction of his faith and made a public profession of his process. You may not recognize his name, but you may be aware of his work. He authored Psalm 73.

Public faith deconstruction has been gaining momentum in recent years as noted evangelical artists and authors have used their national platforms to denounce their Christian beliefs and advance their journeys of new discovery. This national level of dialogue (chronicled well in Christianity Today articles: “New Wave Atheism,” September, 2023; “You’re Not Deconstructing?” March, 2022) has served as a jump-in point for many believers who find themselves in a season of doubt. Sadly, what may have only been a season in these believers’ lives, even a healthy season, has now become a turning point for many with no plans nor hope to return. The availability of public faith deconstruction has provided a “cover” for young, even seasoned, adults to take bold, brave steps away from their faith.

Asaph, a temple musician and author of Psalm 73, made a public profession of his deconstruction as well as a public profession of his reconstruction, both in one writing. In my reading and observing in recent years, it appears that those who deconvert usually have a snag in their faith story that they can’t smooth over: the problem of suffering, the authority of Scripture, a theological dilemma that seems unresolvable, to name just a few examples. For Asaph, it was seeing the wicked, who lived without guidelines or boundaries, prosper in their pursuits. He became envious of their lifestyle and success. Apparently financial security was a weak spot with Asaph. When he let himself think deeply on this, he viewed his righteous rules-keeping as a weight around his neck that had gotten him nowhere.

And then something happened. He entered the sanctuary of God.

Fun fact: Asaph had been a tabernacle musician, ministering around the Ark of the Covenant (1 Chronicles 15-16). He was a regular in the tabernacle and had likely been in and out of the tabernacle over a long period of time, ministering to the place where God’s presence dwelled. It’s difficult to ascertain which came first: was it Asaph allowing his weak spot to become a pre-occupation that then created distance in his relationship with God? Or had Asaph become rote and mechanical in his tabernacle duties to the point where the staleness led to distance with God, creating a vacuum for a weak spot to occupy? We can all identify with both possibilities, which may be the intent behind Psalm 73.

In Asaph’s journey, the sanctuary experience was his lifeline, the dramatic turning point that transformed his deconversion. We need more of these stories today. So, what can we learn from Psalm 73?

1. Deconstruction can be healthy:

Really? Are we sure? The stakes do seem high, but God saw fit to put on public display, in His Word, the deconstruction journey of a tabernacle priest. This can be safely interpreted as an invitation to examine and question the potholes in our faith journey that cause doubt. Asaph embarked on a deep-dive thought journey that troubled him greatly (it gave him a “splitting headache” to use Eugene Peterson’s words from The Message). He opened the psalm confessing he wanted nothing to do with God. He closed the psalm professing he wanted everything to do with God, even proclaiming that there is nothing on this earth he desires but God. You can hear Asaph saying that his walk with God has never been stronger, never been closer. He reconstructed on a solid foundation.

2. Spiritual staleness is an accelerant for weak spots (and vice versa):
You’ve likely heard this saying, or something similar: If the devil can’t get you to walk away from God, he’ll just get you busy. The two nearly become one in the same. The apostle Peter, in his second letter, presents spiritual staleness as being “being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 1:8). He encourages us to combat this staleness by making “every” effort to “add to our faith” in “increasing measure” those great virtues that he listed: goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, mutual affection, and finally, love (2 Peter 1:5-7). Asaph, a regular in tabernacle worship, had obviously hit a point where his relationship with God was not impacting his daily living.

When we no longer make “every effort” to “add” those great virtues to our faith in “increasing measure,” our hearts become crusty. Fleshly curiosities become pre-occupations. Theological dilemmas become unraveling threads in our faith fabric. Financial security becomes an obsession. We lose track of the reasons why truth matters and why we can trust God with the circumstances of our lives.

3. Stay close to the presence of God:

The turning point in Asaph’s deconstruction was an experience in the sanctuary, an experience with the presence of God that brought clarity, perspective, and ultimately, resolve. Asaph saw his weak spots for what they were: temptations that simply create FOMO. His deeply troubled and scrambled thoughts were suddenly arranged in a way that helped him see through the façade he was about to buy into.

The thing is, as we journey along, we will hit snags. We will entertain fleshly curiosities. We will ponder theological dilemmas. Financial security will entice us. But when we stay tethered to the sanctuary—receiving regular doses of the undiluted presence of God—we, like Asaph, will see these weak spots for what they are: temptations that simply create FOMO.

My heart breaks for those whose deconstruction has led to a deconversion. The journeys are complex and nuanced. I find myself a bit sympathetic with a respect for the courage to step away from something that was once held dear. Surprisingly, many grieve the process. I don’t think of myself as someone articulate enough to apologize a “deconverter” back to faith (in the “present a defense” sense of that word). I do believe, however, that many fatal snags are dilemmas that Scripture actually answers. Unfortunately, the cacophony of voices advancing deconversion gives a curious deconstructer convenient handholds to grab.

I finish with two question: 1.) As Christ followers, how can we be more intentional in creating sanctuary moments in our daily living? 2.) As ministry leaders, pastors, student pastors, how can we be advocates for experiences in the undiluted presence of God, to create, through the work of InWord, easy accessibility to God’s Spirit and God’s Word? If question one resonates with you, I invite you to step into Psalm 73, taking a front-row seat into Asaph’s journey, with this quick-hitting devotional exercise, An Early Deconstruction Story: Psalm 73. If question two resonates with you, I invite you to share this quick-hitting devotional exercise.

Download exercise: An Early Deconstruction Story: Psalm 73